currently 的 me realy need a shoulder.
i need to vex my tots outs.
be it whether its sad/hapy/angry or any other feeling im having now.

im so so so tired.
i need to voice outs!
cos .. keeping my downs to myself is realy suffocating me!
i cant breathe .. im drowning of pain!

whenever i come online,
i will read my frend's blog.
its a routine .. it goes down my list from my blog links.

tiffany.
obviously we 3 had broken up.
i dono wads the hell happened bewteen the 3 of us ..
but i know very clearly that we are already over.
she is back with the rest of the 'mudskippers' .. leaving me and eunice alone.
u may say tt its US that neglected you and made you real sad ..
therefore u need other frends .. or either besties ..
thats why u made tt decision~
i know jolly well tt i need to let go when i see u removing us away from ur "blog" ..
tts y i stop contacting you and everything.
becos i believe that since that is your choice ..
i will respect your decision.
but whenever you load the pics of you 4 happily together ..
i will always feel the sour-ness in my heart.
who to blame?
i chose to let you go oready .. wads there more to long?

pauline.
she visit us recently and she DESCRIBE till damn jialiat.
all the claims and thinking are just lyk taking a knife and killing us ONE BY ONE!
im so angry till im lost at words.
u know WE are working here and yet u still choose to lydat!
u know WE will read your blog and you still act so princess .. ..
im realy lost at words!

dam.
im so glad see-ing you defending cartel.
aldou i know your heart is no longer there.
but at least ..
i see c that little bit.
u owaes haf no trust and faith in yourself ..
therefore i can understand y u haf no trust and faith in me.
my 6th sense is strong ..
there are many times i KNOW tt u r blogging abt me ..
but .. i have my limitations.
i haf a real easily jealous boyfrend.



a big round of circle and im back with my problems with him.
im realy heartbroken and sad.
if i were to tell you that we might break up soon as my 6th sense tells me so ..
will u believe?

both me and gu are from 2 different country ..
therefore our thinking are naturally very very different.
he is a very traditional man.
`law by law.
`cheerful.
`never hides anger.
`very very protective.
these can be at advantages and disadvantages at times.

im a very different ger.
i don lyk to hide in my boyfrend arms and ask him to kiss me.
i don need to haf him in my sight 24/7.
i don lyk him to keep calling me and ask for me.

i love my frends ..
becos i know frendships are always longer then relationships.
and this is the main point why we had been quarrelling since we were together.

you once said you don wanna be lyk him ..
controlling me TT much.
but .. things changed.
things are already out of control.
and both of us are suffocating lyk no tml!

you ALWAYS mention to seperate.
and i dono when you are for real.
my sense of guessing is already fading as times goes by.
instead of facing it ..
u choose to let go.
wads does tt shows abt our relationship?

i don wanna to mention dos small details wads made ur quarrell becos i wanna let other people keep the good impression that you built.
aldou some people lyk PL or BUD had oready changed theirs ..

gu.
we both know that this time rnd is the major problem we both faced.
but y r u still avoiding till now?
you did not want to utter a single word to me today.
9hrs~
you bring me drinks .. you bring me food ..
but y when i tok to you .. u must ingore me?
im realy realy very sad u know.
but i will NEVER show it outs becos i don wanna make people arnd me sad and wory.
BUT how long can i keep?
we took cab home together WITHOUT even looking at each other ..
don even need to think abt toking.
u were just beside me but i feel tt our distance had oready furthered.
i do love you dou i know you wont believe me.
you always tink that you love me more than i do.
u mentioned ..
we are grown up oready and will know how to choose our own future.
normaly at this time i will oready gif in ..
but as i said .. i know where i stand now.
i still insisted in telling you tt i need and want my frends!
can u just accept this part of me?
y can i accept so much of you but u just cant gif in this part for me?





im FCUKING 难受！
upon reading till here ..
i may be dead oready!!



i exist on EARTH for NOTHING!
GOD DAMNIT!


kasandra had oready lost contact with me.
and so does liduan.
WSL got pissed off for me everytime CANOT meet him.
demin say im a bitch tt wants boyfrend and not frend.
tiffany left for the other 3.
eunice totaly haf no me in her eyes. her bf is everything!
i always piss spencer off becos i gif no security.
BUD has his brothers and lijing to busy with.
PL is so so far when i needed her.
heart has oready went missing in my life.
and gu .. .. ..









im


fcuking


tearing


now!












i hate my life. i hate me.